Saturday, March 26, 2005

It's the Easter Jesus, Charlie Brown!

Easter Sunday, March 27

Dear E-Diary,

A chocolate company came out with yet another chocolate cross for Easter. This time someone noticed that America, which the media is saying is composed of nothing but fundamentalist Christians now, should be shocked and appalled.

" The cross should be venerated, not eaten, nor tossed casually in an Easter basket beside the jelly beans and marshmallow Peeps," he said. "It's insulting."

No, I won't mention the Eucharist or anything. But I feel I must point out that Christianity has always been very good at casually tossing its symbols alongside Pagan ones, ever since the beginning. Case in point: the Christmas Tree. The Christmas tree is a very old Pagan symbol that began sometime before the Babylonians used it to worship Baal at the Solstice. Today, Christians sully the meaning of the tree by adding an angel on top and the most Christian of all symbols, the creche, at the bottom. To add insult to injury, they might add an ornament of Santa kneeling before the Baby Jesus. Kind of like spitting or dancing on the grave of the person you killed, isn't it?

Kansas City-based Russell Stover, the third-largest American chocolate manufacturer, said it is targeting some of the most devout Christians: Hispanic-Americans.

That's not surprising. Hispanic Roman Catholics, especially Mexican ones, are one of the best-skilled groups in mixing Christianity and paganism, and they do it in style. After all, they still eat Sugar Babies, a particularly ghoulish Christian tradition carried on in Europe. Sugar Babies, eaten at Christmas, symbolize the Slaughter of the Innocents, King Herod's response to the birth of Jesus. I have my own version in glass that I hang on my Christmas tree. It looks like little pink foetus. Yum!

But for the love of God, don't eat a chocolate cross.

Thanks for listening, E-Diary.


Combat Doc said...

Just saying Happy Zombie Jesus Day. Keep the show on FTR up.

Combat Doc said...

By the way we Cubans have a better claim on the Christian/Pagan bullshit. Voodoo and Santeria are like the national sport.

Hellbound Alleee said...

" By the way we Cubans have a better claim on the Christian/Pagan bullshit. Voodoo and Santeria are like the national sport."

Sorry, I didn't know that. That's interesting. I am from the west coast, so I know a little bit more about Mexican things than Cuban things. Now that I'm an east-coaster, I should know that!

Thanks for the post and kind words!

Hellbound Alleee said...

BTW, I see you're from Fort Lewis. *Salute.* I'm from Seattle--but then you probably know that if you listen to the show. ;)