Saturday, April 16, 2005

All Cows Must Remember the Sabbath, and Keep it Holy

Dear Internet Diary,

Commandment Four:
All the first born are mine.

Numbers 3:13 (God to Moses) says,
From the day I killed all the firstborn sons of the Egyptians, I set apart for myself all the firstborn in Israel of both men and animals. They are mine; I am the LORD.

Way to go, Jehovah.

When the mighty lord changed his mind, this became the fourth commandment:
Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

You gotta do what the Lord did, and what the Lord did on the seventh day of creation was rest. Unless the Lord's idea of resting is creating all the rest of the giant universe that He forgot to mention in Genesis, it makes no sense that a god must rest after creating the universe. Not many gods had to rest. The Great Dragon from ancient China rested. Its daughter took over and made mankind. No, that's wrong. Actually, it died, and became the land. So I guess that's not technically resting.

I guess I shouldn't complain that Jehovah rested for only one day. After all, he's only human.

The penalty for working on the sabbath day in Colonial Times? In 1619, it was 3 shillings, two shillings less than the fine for celebrating Christmas. The penalty in the Absolute moral law? Death. Even those Kooky Kolonials who hanged "witches" used secular judgement on the bible. Curious. Another proof that the Ten Commandments are the basis for American Law, right?

But thanks for listening, Diary.

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