Saturday, April 02, 2005

Je$u$ Sells!

Dear Internet Diary,

Entertainment Tonight, The Insider, Access Hollywood: the top story today is The Pope's last moments alive. Yesterday it was that poor lady who died 15 years ago. They prayed for God to resurrect her, but He didn't seem to care for people using a corpse to promote their anti-abortion/anti-gay agenda.

If you're at least 30 and you can get through one of these programs you'll notice something familiar: it's all about Christianity right now.

Back in the days of President Ronald Reagan, when it was "Morning in America," it was the same, tired old thing. Today we have "Joan of Arcadia," and soon "Revelations" soiling our none-too clean tv screens. I the eighties, it was "Highway to Heaven," "Father Murphy," "Aaron's Way," and "Amen." There's nothing new about obsession with demon possession and Apocalyptic themes. We never quite recovered from "The Exorcist" in the seventies.

When I was an emotional teen, I couldn't see any kind of a way out of the Christian Apocalyptic mania I saw around me in the eighties, when we raged about Falwell and The Moral Majority. We used to joke that "The Moral Majority is neither." They were a shrill, loud minority, skilled in being annoying. Just like today, the Media seemed to believe the lie.

Today, the Media seems to be hysterically swallowing the idea that the Nation has collectively been washed in the blood and has fallen out in the Holy Spirit. But that's not really true. Sure, most people are stupid and enjoy crappy anthology tv shows with angels wearing gauzy clothes. They don't want the news. They want to feel good. They simply are not interested enough to be marching christian soldiers. The real soldiers, unfortunately, know what they are doing and have the resources to do it.

Have the pod people have really taken over? Is the United States in the same situation Germany was in in the 30's, like I heard Richard Dawkins suggest? Americans don't seem to have a problem with Anne Coulter and her nazi fetish, suggesting Canada is lucky America doesn't "crush" them. I guess she thinks American soldiers should kill Canadian citizens and overthrow their government because, and I quote, "they speak French." Anne Coulter is definitely one who holds true Christian values. She might be an idiot, but she's less of an idiot than those who like her.

What I really think, even as n American citizen who has jumped ship, is that Anne Coulter is going to be yesterday's news real fast. Fox already has another Eva Braun wanna be to take her place. After all, Fox doesn't need more than one skeletal female decorating their studios, when there are so many fat pasty guys there. I am saying that Christianity is a fad that comes and goes. Right now it's cool to be a catholic, just like it was cool to be a mystic numerologist "jew" last year. It's just really, really annoying.

And that's why I post, and record, and make website after website after website. The world has heard enough Christian voices. I will not stop until the World Wide Web is so sick of me and all the other atheists out there, it tosses us out. You can be paranoid and say maybe it will. So I go back to Xeroxed fanzines. People will think I'm crazy, but I'll be shooting my mouth off 'till the bitter end. And I'll be in Canada, where that sort of thing is still legal.

Thanks for listening, diary.

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