Monday, June 20, 2005

Jesus was just like me!

Dear Internet Diary

From Liberals Like Christ

If Jesus of Nazareth was anything, he was an extraordinary friend of the downtrodden, definitely a Liberal, whose advocacy on their behalf so infuriated the ultra-Conservative religious and political leaders of his day that they had him killed to prevent the public from hearing the very liberal teaching that you will see quoted in Jesus' own words here on this web site !

The Jesus they taught me about lived and died in the name of justice, in the spirit of peace. He was an anti-establishment activist who begot peacemakers from Gandhi to Chavez, King to Mandela. says

Jesus was loving, compassionate, honest, a great sense of humor and a great conversationalist. Just being with Jesus was a wonderful experience. He was a great companion in all kinds of weather. And apostles loved to hear Jesus talk about God.

Apparently, Jesus was also a raw foods vegetarian, and possibly a black woman. No matter. He didn't exist. I just wish I understood why these folks have such a skewed concept of the words "justice," "peace," and "love." From what I gather, liberals believe that being loving and peaceful means preaching constantly about the violent end of the world (that he would bring about personally), and how those that do not follow him will burn in an eternal hell. How is it consistent with liberalism to endorse the Laws of Leviticus and the Ten Commandments, and the penalties for breaking them? Do liberals believe that church and state should be one and the same, a theocrasy? Jesus did. Do liberals believe that we should live under the rule of a king? Jesus did. Do liberals believe that a peace activist, living in a world of slavery, should never speak against it, indeed endorse the beating of "bad" slaves? Jesus did.

If this is what liberals believe, then by all means they should pretend that the mythical Jesus was just like them. Everybody else does. But if I compare anyone to Jesus, be certain: it's an insult.


breakerslion said...

Of course Jesus was just like you! If you happen to be a 1st century desert dweller with a better than average rabbinical education and a nasty temper, that is. That’s assuming that there ever was an historical character upon which the mass-marketing myth is based. According to text, when the Romans asked if he was the Messiah, ‘ol Jeezie-boy answered with a typically cryptic pseudo reply of “I am what they say I am.” Nice way to evade a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation. Not the kind of behavior I’d expect from the (alleged) all-powerful Goodness. Still, if true, then I say that Jesus is a mass-marketed delusion. So there!

“Hide not your lantern under a bushel, or your statuary in a bathtub.” Sorry. Must be the lingering aftertaste of the Hashishian (burp).

Kalanchoe542 said...

ugh, now that is a bad visual...*shudder*

Hellbound Alleee said...

Just for that, I'm reporting you to Ted koppel.

breakerslion said...

That really is his hair, you know. At least, that's what he says.