Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Behold, the Atheist's Nightmare

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Dear Internet Diary,

Have you heard that the banana proves creationism? It's true! Listen to Ray Comfort:

Behold! The Atheist's Nightmare!
Yes, that was the one where the banana wearing a tie knocked on the doughnut's door and said "Do yo like working so hard every day? Have you heard about Amway, God's new covenant of wealth?" Terrible dream.

Now if you study a well-made banana you'll find...
What--God fucks up some of His bananas?
Actually, "God" doesn't make bananas. Man does. It's called "horticulture." A God-made banana--you wouldn't want to eat it.

The banana and the hand are perfectly made one for the others.
Actually, the glove is made for the human hand. Maybe the natural banana was made for the chimp--our cousin's--hand. The banana was made bigger, by us, because people like their fruit bigger.

You'll find the maker of the banana, Almighty God, has made it with a non-slip surface.
Can't say as much for the other side of the surface. You know another fruit that almighty God made with a non-slip surface? The Prickly Pear. Tastes like strawberries. It actually tastes better than the banana. Not exactly made to fit the human hand, eh?

You'll find a wrapper which is biodegradeable, has perforations.
Fruit skin is generally biodegradeable like that. Is your designed soda-can you were just demonstrating bio-degradeable? As far as the easy-to open thing, if the banana proves creationism, the coconut disproves it. And it doesn't easily fit...

Notice how gracefully it sits over the human hand. Notice it has a point at the top for ease of entry, it's just the right shape for the human mouth

I saw how you looked at Kirk Cameron when you said that. You old dog, you.

So lets sing the praises of artificial selection: that people tend to select toward the traits that people want. Because, if you ever had to try and live on so-called "god-made" fruits and vegetables, you'd have to wonder about how much this God person knows about his own children.


breakerslion said...

There's only so much of that I can take. I know of something else that's often roughly shaped like a banana, it has never been seen before, and when I flush, it will never be seen again. It must be a miracle! Whatever it is, I'm sure Ray Comfort is full of it.

breakerslion said...

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

A: Because they have big fingers.

Works as a joke, otherwise makes about as much sense as that banana-toting retard.

Russ said...

The true fallacy is equating a soda can to a banana and saying that since it is so improbable that the soda can just came into existance, that shows how it's equally improbable that the banana came into existance. Of course, the difference is that
1. The banana is a living thing, capable of evolving over generations and
2. The banana has been modified through selective breeding to be a better fruit for human consumption.

Sorry, I quit watching after they were done peeling the banana.

The Atheist Messiah said...

It's unfortunate that these guys do so well. Plenty of people buy this garbage.

Bananas are among the least-suited fruits to adapt to even minor changes in climate. So it was god's plan to originally allow maybe 5% of the world's population access to this perfect fruit?

I think they should have used nuts as an example. They may be bananas, but they're both a couple of nuts with thick shells to protect the shriveled pieces of flesh that God designed for them to use logic.

Way of the Chronic Masterbater is more like it.