Tuesday, April 11, 2006
The War on Easter, Alleee-Style Now!
Yes, I know about Flemming`s awesome War on Easter. The problem is, I thought I was a conscientious objector. That's because I thought Easter has no more to do with Christianity than Christmas does. Come on, people, show me where in the word "easter" does it mention Jesus, or Christ, or Jehovah or Passover or any of that nonsense?
Of course it doesn't . Of course, "easter" refers to a spring goddess and her fertility familiar, the hare. Oskar Hase. Eostre.
But then something miraculous happened: I was on an archaeological dig in the ancient sands of the Middle East, when I came upon a mysterious tablet. Upon further inspection, I found that it was nothing less than an undiscovered new Gospel and Testament of Christ, proving that easter bunnies, eggs, and more symbols of Easter are as Christian as Santa Claus kneeling before the manger!
Now, of course, I'm an atheist. This is no more miraculous than the Gospel of Judas. It's just more religious dreck from a Gnostic sect. But it obviously has a lot of historical value. I'm hoping that such historical value goes beyond seven figures, so I can take my atheistic evangelism further than Brian Flemming could ever dream! But I am not selfish, friends. I want to share some of this gospel with you.
So, without further hesitation, I give you
THE GOSPEL OF PETER........COTTONTAIL.