Banana Redux: Pre-Penn Radio

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Download Audio Excerpt: Ray Concedes


In the best of all possible situations, I have toppled an insurmountable argument for creationism, and have furthered the cause of science by leaps and bounds. Hooray for me!

Of course, this insurmountable argument was not only the stupidest argument for creationism in existence--and that's why it went around the internet so much, but it wasn't really me. It was Ray Comfort's doing. One could either say, "you have to hand it to him, to have so much humility as to say, "ok, you've got that one, you can have the banana," or you could say that perhaps it's a good political move on his part to distance himself from the Banana Argument. It made him look stupid.

But, being the cynical bastard that I am, I want to milk this banana thing for all its worth! The Banana is not dead. There are currently Christians around the web who are using my banana as we speak, to try and argue their way into the Talking Snake Theory. We now have the Argument From Authority necessary to slap the hands of these misguided individuals. That's because the real argument, the one I pointed out to Ray, just doesn't work for them. But perhaps, if you can tell them, "Ray Comfort, the better half of Kirk Cameron of The Way of the Master, has conceded this argument to Hellbound Alleee. He said, and I quote, 'Okay, you've got that one, you can have the banana.' So you can't use that argument anymore." Perhaps that's the moment you can explain how fruits and vegetables are grown, and their place in evolutionary biology.

It's sad, but true. These people know nothing about plants. Who does? That's why we ask gardeners, and farmers. If anyone knows about how evolution can work, it's a farmer. Gardeners and farmers use artificial selection, but they tend to absorb knowledge about wild plants, and how they've changed over the years. They know about pollen, seeds, carbon, photosynthesis, the birds and the bees. That's what many creationists yahoos lack: basic knowledge about how babies are made.

So let it be known throughout the internet: the banana argument, which was handed over personally to me by its author, I now give back to science, and bio-engineered foods.. My only request is that, if you remember, mention that Hellbound Alleee gave it to you? Thanks. My second request is to put aside one day, May 5th, for the value of Bio-Engineered foods, because, after all, the chances are huge that anything you happen to eat is ultimately bioengineered--like the banana. Sure, it may not have spider genes in it, but many people worked very hard to engineer that plant, the one that used to be hard, tasteless, and full of seeds, to become the soft, sweet, and easy-to-feed-to-baby fruit we enjoy today. And the perfect fruit to fit Kirk Cameron's pretty, pretty mouth.

Daiquiris on me!