Monday, May 09, 2005

Don't Worry About It: Mary was Crying Before This Happened

Mary Vagina
Dear Internet Diary,

I just read that the pareidolia on the Chicago underpass wall was restored on Friday.

You know the story. Some winter road salt and water dripped down and made a rounded lump shape, which happens a lot. Since the mythical Mary character had to cover her shame all the time under a burkha, it supposedly looks like her. That's because she's one of the few Burkha-ed women who are famous enough to be "recognzed." They didn't realize, for instance, that the figure actually is of UMM SALAMA HIND bint Abi Umayya, one of the wives of Allah. Or a vagina. Whenever I look at that picture, I see a Georgia O'Keefelike hint at the woman-flower. Which is probably not a coincidence, anyway. Which is another reason Christianity tends to be kind of yukky.

Last week, Victor Gonzales was arrested for writing "big lie" on the image. It's curious, considering that, if you look around the image, you will see all kinds of graffitti, not to mention lots of litter. I don't mean the religious litter-the candles, the prayer slips, the teddy bears, etc. I mean litter from the humanity. Back to the graffitti. People wrote all kinds of things on the wall, including the wishes they wanted the Virgin to grant them. Someone also wrote "satan lives" next to the image, making him a kind of pussy, in my opinion. Maybe he was a christian too, who actually does believe in satan, and is still in fear of god. Make that a lesson to you all. People who write "satan lives" and "666" and most anything else satan-related on walls are CHRISTIANS, not satanists. Are we clear?

Here's where my rant about the misconceptions about people who write about satan on walls is actually relevant: Gonzales is a Chritsian. Yes, yet again, some, ahem "atrocity" attributed to godlessness is caused by religion. To quote:

Gonzalez, 37, told relatives he believed visitors were worshipping a graven image in violation of the Second Commandment, said Mandy Gonzalez, who identified herself as Gonzalez's niece.

Yes, it seems we have a case of Protestant vs Catholic, as Catholics don't recognize the commandment against graven images.

Before I knew Gonzales' act was religious in nature, I generally defended his act. His graffitti or pollution or whatever you want to call it was the only truthful statement to be found there. I have to say, that's stil true. The words "big lie," even now, was the only thing that had virtuous motivation. It's too bad it wasn't done by an atheist. That's kind of sad. Of course, the state came in and covered it up with paint, which is hypocritical. They allowed all these people to leave their little piles and open fires all around, they allowed constant graffitti to be written on the wall, but when someone makes a bold statement, when someone shows what is admittedly artificial independant defiance, the government descends upon it, making themselves enemies of everyone. But that's how this pareidolia stuff ALWAYS happens. Eventually, it just gets too messy. Eventually, someone has to clean it up.

The restoration is amusing though. If this is such a miraculous thing, why is so much human intervention necessary? Why was road salt runoff necessary? Why was the whole car-wash of the government paint necessary? If this was a miracle, Mary could have cleaned herself up. Even so, no-one should worry. The worship of Mary was never, at any time, harmed. The Mary-cult ALWAYS has Mary weeping. Why should this be any different? Catholicism was not harmed, anti-catholicist protestantism was not harmed, and grumpy atheism marches on.

Thanks for listening, diary.


Aaron Kinney said...

Over at the Lancdover Baptist website, they have a satire article of Lynne Cheney declaring the stain to be a vagina. Its pretty funny! She calls it a divine honeypot or something LOL.

And over at you can find detailed articles on the fun mind game known as paeriolia (did I spell that right?)

breakerslion said...

Is it something in the water? A secret ingredient in St. Joseph's baby aspirin? Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? WHAT???? I just can't believe anyone can be this stupid naturally and still be part of the race at the top of the food chain. Remind me to someday stain the walls of a urine-soaked stairwell in Brooklyn to look like a pair of labia and wait to see who comes along to worship it. If you happen to see a trumpet player name of Gabe, tell him he's late. :-)

Hellbound Alleee said...

What's even stupider is that the news media and the authorities seem to take this so sweriously. What I see is an America headed for the dark ages.

Aaron Kinney said...

I already worship labia. Now theres a God(dess) that offers salvation!!!!!

:d yum!