Friday, May 13, 2005
Loki Crashes the Party
Dear Internet Diary,
So, today is another Friday the Thirteenth.
Nothing. I am absolutely positive that nothing has ever happened to me on Friday the thirteenth. Or on a full moon. Or after I broke a mirror, or spilled salt. I also had a black cat for a number of years, and have, several times, blasphemed our Lord Jesus Christ. Oh, Jesus! You silly sod!
What's going on with this whole para...skevi..deka...trio..phobia is that the folks who are concerned with thirteen are used to thier 12-month calendar. Since these religions all come from the sun, we can understand why 13 doesn't quite fit in. You've got 12 months, 12 zodiac sign, 12 disciples (the thirteenth is Jesus, that old bastard), 12 Gods at Valhalla until Loki crashed the party...hey, have you ever seen Loki and Jesus together in the same room? Makes you think? 13, well, you've got thirteen cards in a tarot deck, and the 13th stage of life in Egyptian mythology is death. Of course, people who use a lunar calendar have no idea what the problem is with the number 13. They have their own stupid beliefs.
Then we have a little problem with Friday. I don't know who's idea it was to pretend that Jesus was crucified on a Friday. What did they have against Friday? There are many printed evidences that people found Friday unlucky, as early as the 1300's. But today we don't. That's because we have the concept of a "weekend." It's interesting to note that there is evidence of Friday's being unlucky right up to the time we invented Saturday off. So, now we have restaurants that venerate Friday in their bames. We have Disco Movies that thank God he invented Friday. Which is curious, since some emperor invented Friday, probably.
No, we love friday. We just hate 13. But we're stupid, so we had to hold onto at least one fear, the double-whammy Friday the thirteenth. This is the day, along with full moon days, that we discover just how badly we educate nurses, who dutifully report how "strange everyone is acting" in the ER.
Of course, we know that people act strange everywhere, every day. One of the strangest ways for people to act is when they behave differently because it's Friday the Thirteenth. On such a day, people look around and think, "what's strange today, because it is Friday the Thirteenth." On a wednesday the 8th or something, when everything strange or bad seems to happen at once, do we stop to look at a calendar? "Oh! It's wednesday the 8th. THAT explains it."
If the thirteen problem has to do with the "Last Supper," though, keep in mind: not only did Jesus have a 12 guest last supper, but so did Loki, as we discussed earlier, Mithra, and Spartan King Kleomenes. There are many sects that held a similar Eucharist. They are mythic, and/or symbolic. And they show that the characters people worship believed all sorts of occult nonsense and superstitions. It should all be thrown on the trash heap.
Thanks for listening, diary.