Only A Housewife

Dear Internet Diary,

If I thought I were "only a housewife," I would want some kind of "ultimate motivation" too. Not christianity, though. I'm always looking for a motivation of some kind. I suppose if one finds oneself unfocused enough to accuse oneself of being "only a hosuewife," one is frustrated and bored. I would suggest a hobby, like internet audio shows blasting christianity. I tend to be a dilletante, I've tried everything. I went on a "choose your religion" rollercoaster for awhile. It was fantastic for me.

Then there was art, music composing, more recording, acting, sewing, more crafts, music history, rock and roll, punk rock, Riot Grrrl, feminism, objectivism, travel...there's just too damned much to do in this world to find myself dissatisfied with what I am, and what I'm doing. I have flashes where I wonder if I'm "supposed" to be "more successful," as if there's some kind of magical being that says "ok, now, at age 25, you were required to do this. Then, at 30, you were supposed to (have babies) do X..."

Of course, I know that just ain't so. It can be tough sometimes to be an individualist, and an atheist, because you have to challenge all these notions that crop up all of the time. What you're "supposed to be," for instance. Or the idea that you're supposed to be serving this ideal, or that husband, or this god, or that country. No such animal as "s'posed ta."

I think so many of us dismiss the things of the material world as being unimportant. We want to feel important, so we have to be doing lofty things. But we forget that the little things, the building blocks of life --and I don't mean primary particles in particualr--ARE lofty. They shouldn't be dismissed, they should be celebrated. After all, if we believe in God, we should believe that God made those things possible anyway. We turn to our bibles and see the passage that says "consider the lilies." Then we realize, even if we are christians, that we aren't so insignificant after all. As atheists, we tend to see the universe bigger--we see the earth in the context of the universe. We know that all the aspects of it are really, equally important as much as they are equally insignificant. As Christians, we get so hung up on the notion of God's favorites and God's plan, that we get tunnel vision. We think humans are the be all and end all, and we'd better damned well be worthy--although we know from scripture we're not.

Atheists don't have that obstacle.

Shouldn't we celebrate the astronomical odds that allowed the universe to give us music, delicious food, love, art, beauty, thrills? Rollercoasters, trees, coffee, ice cream, Mozart, The Beatles, Angelina Jolie, Ryan Phillipe (beautiful people), Richard Dawkins, ballet, puppies, pizza, mp3s, movies, Homer Simpson, Winslow Homer, Mark Twain, Penn and Teller, Houdini, Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy, Margaret Sanger (fighters), Bessie Smith, Gene Kelly, Ruby Keeler, Ira Glass, Sarah Vowel, Dan Savage, sex, orgasms, Japanese Gardens, mountains, rivers, rainbow trout, kittens, snow, the seasons, winter solstice, christmas trees, chocolate, kissing, finger painting, cartoons, housewives, house husbands, the internet, books, Harry Potter, baseball, hockey.....am I missing something?

Of course I am.. Isn't that great?