Isaac Hayes: Taking a Stand for Religion After Only 9 Years

Dear Internet Diary,

Chef Isaac Hayes made a completely expected move when he announced he was leaving the show South Park. IN an interview with The Onion, he said

“There is a place in the world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins,” Hayes said. “As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices.”

Apparently that time ends when South Park makes fun of his religion. The creators of South Park say that he had no problem poking fun of Christianity, such as South Park`s episode where a statue of Mary gushes menstrual blood, or when Cartmen sang sexual love-songs to Jesus, or when Mel Gibson is portrayed as a sado-masochistic Nazi. But after South Park satirizes Scientology, now Isaac Hayes has to make a stand for religion!

Hayes says,

“But I understand what they’re doing. I told them to take a couple of Scientology courses, and understand what we do,”

Take a couple of courses, he says. That would be sweet. Imagine Trey and Matt at "Clay Table Processing," where they illustrate concepts in clay. That would be entertaining, indeed. But they can't do clay until they do the OT TR0s: sitting in a chair for hours, not moving or twitching. If you do, you have to start all over again. And pay again, presumably.

Of course, Isaac Hayes, as a celebrity Scientologist, is not privy to the same information any one of us laypeople can find on the internet or in the library. Looking at this information, the Church tells its adherents, is a serious infraction and can be very dangerous to your path towards Total Freedom. It's another way of saying "get out your checkbook." Because of this, it is very unlikely Chef knows about what his beloved L Ron Hubbard said about black people, that they were too unintelligent to register anything on the e-meter. Does he know about Hubbard's famous support for Apartheid in South Africa? His statement about uncivilized savages? Or what he said in a letter to his first wife, Polly?

You shouldn't be scrubbing the floor on your hands and knees. Get yourself a nigger; that's what they're born for

.

So go ahead and stand up for what you believe, Chef. You're a hero, just like Hubbard, who posthumously received a NAACP Doctor W.E.B. Du Bois Outstanding Leadership Award a few years ago, thanks to you.

Thanks for listening.

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