Thursday, April 20, 2006

AHH! I'M BEING BOMBED!

(Hey, it's 4/20 today! Time to paty. And I don't mean Hitler's birthday.)

It's not from you dirty poop-throwing monkey moral subjectivists, though. This time it's from our Common Enemy, the 16-23 year-old Christian Female.

For example:

----Original Message Follows----
From: Emily Walker
To: afrpennycentury@hotmail.com
Subject: Fwd: For your info
Date: Wed, 19 Apr 2006 10:24:06 -0700 (PDT)


First of all you wouldnt have to worry about the rapture if you were right with God and accepted him as your personal Savior. Its not like oh my gosh the worlds gonna end what are we gonna do? God didnt say everyone is going to be left behind and you have no choice.He said he was going to prepare a place (Heaven) for those who accept and know him. Also there is no way you can survive the rapture. Do you have any idea what its going to be like?

There is going to be earthquakes, life size bugs, massive torture, the mark of the beast, the environment will be so bad you could not survive, and the only way to get food and the things you need is to get the mark of the beast (666) and signifies the Devil. Just to let you know Hell is 100 times hotter than an oven that is all the way turned up. And if that doesnt give you a clue about what its going to be like I dont know what will help you to understand that the rapture is not some thing to get a big debate on. Maybe
you should tell others about Jesus and how he died on a cross for our sins not just give them tips how to survive the rapture. He's the only way to survive the rapture. Maybe you should tell them that.


Emily: Who told you that I give people tips on how to survive the Rapture? There is simply no such thing. So why would I accept an imaginary something as my personal something to save me from an imaginary event that won't happen? Why in the world would you expect me to tell people to follow a religion I am morally and intellectually opposed to?

If your boyfriend said to you: "You have to believe me, or I will torture you," what kind of a person would that make him?
---------------------------------

Just for fun, let's figure out how hot hell is. Emily says it's "100 times hotter than an oven turned all the way up." My oven goes up to 550 degrees Fahrenheit. (290 C). That's 55,000 degrees F (29,000 C).

Let's see how accurate Emily is! Do YOU know your bible?

According to this site, (Isaiah 30:26 reads "Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days.") hell is pretty much only 833 degrees F (445 c) while heaven is 975 (525). I know where I would rather be. But you guys knew that.

Edited to add:

Leah sent me two more emails today. The latter had a bunch of photos from the movie The Passion of the Christ. I think she considers them documentary evidence. Here are some of them:
Jesus Porn 1
Jesus Porn 2
Jesus Porn 3

I could be a bitch and send her back some photos of deformed babies and Tsunami victims, but I won't, because I am a better person than she. But here is what I answered:

Leah, I am thoroughly disgusted. Why do you send me these pornographic, sadomasochistic images?

It's okay, though. I understand that it's all studio magic. In fact, the Jesus in that movie that was bleeding--reportedly in the movie enoguh blood for 3 and a half people--was a muppet created in the Jim Henson studio.

Isn't it awful what people do to each other in the name of religion? Back then, many, many people were crucified and suffered: interestingly, they were crucified at an angle, or upside - down. Lucky Jesus, eh?

It's sad to think how many people in this world (children, especially) suffer far worse for much more than three days, of disease. It's a good thing that medical science doesn't rely on belief, and we should both hope that in the future, we can eliminate government that lies about morality relying on belief, or popularity. We know that morality is based on fact, not belief. We need to stop the practice of governments killing people, because it makes people believe that nobody is responsible for killing an innocent live individual.

Sincerely,
Alleee
http://www.hellboundalleee.com






4 comments:

breakerslion said...

Well, he's obviously not the King, he's got shit all over him!

The blogspammers have found you too! Coincidence?

Hellbound Alleee said...

Well, I allowed anon because some bitch was complaining and said she would drop me from her bookmarks. Obviously that sounded like the worst thing that could ever happen. So ...

So now I'm going back to allow some, but not anonymous comments.

But the Christians are strictly emailing me, either from Insolitology, or from the Normal Bob Smith site.

Aaron Kinney said...

LOL I love how you respond to these emails. Keep on rockin the rationalism Alleee!! :D

Bob Brown said...

Suffer?

The only people that really suffered were the victims of these God Fearing people.

I don't know how these blood thirsty Christians can parade around proudly wearing a cross around their necks.
If anything we should all be wearing the figure of a human being burned at the stake...in memory of those who lost their lives to these sick delusional fucks!

Bob